Life can be overwhelming sometimes, especially when it doesn’t go the way you planned to. I never thought of writing as a job for me in my 19 years, but since I got into Mass Communication, my life has turned upside down. I found out new things about myself. One of these things was that I am interested in writing, and I probably will specialize in journalism. The funny thing is that I realized that I have been writing since I was like five years old. I once wrote a letter titled Something for Happiness. I printed many copies and distributed them to all the people I knew. Did I know that this would influence me six years later and would be the beginning of something new?

After I realized this thing about myself, I decided that I should search for the things I should value in my life, so I don’t let go of them as I did with writing. The first thing that came into my mind was my family, especially the one that we lost along the way. I hadn’t experienced any loss except for my grandpa. Three years ago, he died thinking that I was going to be a doctor, but, as I said, my life has changed as well as my interests. And since there is no way I can catch him up on these changes, I am dedicating my very first journalism assignment to him.

Dear Geddo Taha,

Honestly, I don’t know what death means. I haven’t fully grasped it, yet. When they were calling to tell us that you’re gone, I was the one to pick up the phone. The lady asked for Taha’s family, I couldn’t do anything but give the phone to someone else. I knew what she was going to say. I knew I was not going to understand. I feel like I am just busy with my college, my new friends, my work, and my cat, so I am going to come back and visit you.

I regret not making enough memories with you like the rest of the family. When you died, everyone was sad. When you died, everyone was able to recall their best moments with you, but I couldn’t.

But now I remember you riding your bike to pick me up from kindergarten, and I was holding on to you so tight you probably couldn’t breathe well. Guess what, I don’t know how come you’re not here, but I still can’t let you go. I also remember you when you were super exhausted from all the doctor’s appointments and medications and saying that Shahd is one of the girls that can be relied on. (I wish I could remember the exact words; I can’t find them).

You loved me unconditionally. I will do the same for you and never let go of that love.

Funny thing, it’s now three years since you died and the first time in forever our little family is going to be together, the seven of us and someone new we don’t know his name yet. Coincidence? I believe it’s not because you visited me in my dreams only a few days after your funeral. We were all sitting together; you shook my hand, looked at the family gathering, smiled, I looked away then back at you, and you were gone. I knew at that time that it was all going to be okay.
I hope you’re feeling okay now. Life is pretty rough down there and football isn’t good anymore since you stopped watching it.
With all the love I have,
Shahd